Huge news here in the blogosphere!

I really should be cleaning my kitchen right now. But I HAD to jump on and write a blog post. Huge changes are coming to a theater near you, well, near me anyway. I know, I know I havent posted in forever. But I swear that anytime I am online anymore I am nursing and or feeding a baby. Thus I am reduced to the use of one hand at a time to surf the interwebz. And I HATE typing long messages (i.e. blog entries) with one hand. It makes my hand want to curl up and die, slowly. Buuuttt anywayz.

Here comes the huge news.....wait for it......

The "wannabe" teacher is now a REAL teacher! Well, sort of. I have been hired as a kindergarten teacher in my all-time favorite elementary school! I feel like that idyllic Disn.ey song "A dream is a wish" should be playing as the background of this post. I have been trying for a looonnnggg time to get a teaching job. And even though I *knew* (really just hoped) I would eventually get a job somewhere it was always extremely difficult to feel like you were being passed over or ignored for a position each year.

So this means I need to change the name of my blog...any suggestions?

I am way too overly excited about this. But I am also a teensy bit sad. This means that little Mr J is going to have to go into full-time daycare. In my head I KNOW this doesnt make me a bad mother. I TOTALLY know this with the sane portion of my brain. But this small part of my heart wishes I could stay home with him and never miss a second of his life. Crazy I know, but whoever said motherhood was a rational experience was obviously not a mother. As happy as I am to be working in my dream job, I am devastated at the thought that I might miss one of his "firsts" (rolling over, sitting up, crawling, laughing, etc). It hurts my heart more than I want to focus on right now for fear I will burst into tears and curl up into a ball on the floor sobbing irrationally. With the sane part of my mind I know that millions of mothers have children in daycare full-time, and these children lead happy, healthy, and fulfilled lives. But I will be brutally honest, it doesn't help right now. I think its just something I have to get used to. And I think it may take a lot of time.

Here is a little short story that I feel illustrates the job of a teacher perfectly I really love this story and wanted to share-

"One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?” The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.” “Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!” After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…” I made a difference for that one.”

Isnt that what we teachers do? We consciously realize that we cannot help every single child, but that we CAN help those in our class? That it makes a difference to them! And isnt that why we as teachers work so.very.hard, blood, sweat, and tears kind of hard for our kids? Because although we might wish we could make a difference to every.single.child we can be happy with just making a difference to those children in our class, or our school.

I will leave you with that, and go clean my stupid kitchen. Unless Mr J. wakes up. Not that I would *ever* wake him up purposefully so I could get out of cleaning my kitchen. No....never.

Keep an eye out for a 3 month update this weekend!!